at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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