Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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