He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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