Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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