I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
