is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
