Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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