I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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