quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
