are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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