That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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