you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
