Define "chronic" masturbator.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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