Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Terrible idea I love it
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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