Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
How external is "for external use only"?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
