You made me cry and you don't even care
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
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