Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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