Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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