Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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