dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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