Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
