Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
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