the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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