Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I could fuck to npr.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
