Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
