Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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