..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
