evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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