Do you still have your period?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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