I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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