No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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