I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
