Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just took my morning after pill in the library
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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