Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
