Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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