Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
