they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
