before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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