I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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