You smell like a Billy Joel song
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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