UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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