can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
