why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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