god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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