i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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