My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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