I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
