That's intense
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I feel like a drive thru vagina
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
