therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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