i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
