i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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