I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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