OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
