Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
