Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize