Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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