it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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