Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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