We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
