I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
