Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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